How My Puppy is One of my Greatest Teachers
I deeply know that every experience we have in life has the potential to help us to learn and evolve if we allow it. Enter my puppy, Hercules, one of my newest and greatest teachers. Hercules is a 9 month old stunning mix of German Shepherd and Rottweiler, and he joined our likkle family when he was just 7 weeks old. Apparently I have some karma or something that needs to be worked out through this dog as there seems to be always something with us! (I imagine there will be more blog posts in the future that highlight our learnings together!).
On the full moon in April 2023, that something turned out to be me falling down in the backyard, landing on my back with Hercules on top of me, and seemingly never-ending days of pain and a pretty agonizing recovery after the fall. Damn dog. Or damn me for going to retrieve him physically when he wouldn’t come when I called. He definitely wins…I will never be doing that again. Score one for Hercules (who said we are keeping score??).
It turns out that pain and puppies can be incredible teachers!
It turns out that incredible pain (as well as puppies) can be an amazing teacher; pain can really bring out the worst in me, allowing me to see this side of myself and to consciously choose my response instead of just reacting. I read once that Ram Dass said something like “if you think you’re enlightened, go and spend a week with your family.” This has always resonated with me as truth and I would now add “If you think you’re enlightened, have no choice but to lay down flat on your back in incredible pain for a week.”
For the first 36 hours or so after the fall, I had no pain killers of any kind and I could literally feel my body seizing up as the trauma of the fall wreaked through my body and my conscious mind danced an insane boogie alongside the pain. I kept hearing in my head, “I have given natural birth twice,” as my muscles twisted and my bones ached from somewhere deep inside. For the past 27 years, this has been my marker of how bad pain is: how does it compare to giving birth?
4 lessons I learned from this experience with Hercules...
My recovery required a lot of mostly painful resting and painful movement, giving me ample opportunities to observe my internal and external reactions to the situation as sleep came in elusive and short spurts in the early days after the fall. I truly believe that our most difficult times in life can be one of our greatest teachers if we are open to learn and evolve from the experience.
Here’s what I learned while I was flat on my back in exquisite pain: accepting help is a humbling and ultimately freeing experience, you can use pain as a tool to support your meditation practice, the physical body needs to feel safe in order to relax and let go and this is directly connected to feelings of safety in the mind, and I enjoy being mobile and feel more motivated than ever to keep being so for as long as I can!
The mind-body connection is definitely real...
1.Accepting help is a humbling experience that brought me to a place of love
Like so many of us, it is much easier for me to give help than it is to accept it (let alone ask for it!). After the fall, I was completely reliant on my husband for about 4 days. I couldn’t get in or out of the bed without his help and I couldn’t get to the bathroom without his help (thankfully once I made it to the bathroom I could do the rest on my own!). I experienced many moments of deep gratitude for his help because I just couldn’t imagine how I would have done it on my own coupled with a repetitive fearful thought…what would I do if I were on my own? I had to acknowledge that it didn’t really matter because I wasn’t on my own. I had to give myself permission to fully surrender and to accept the help with gratitude-out of a place of love for the support as opposed to a place of fear of not being able to help myself. Human beings are social creatures. We need each other. And that’s ok.
2. We can use physical, mental, and emotional pain as tools to support our meditation practice
I used to think that the sole purpose of meditation was to eradicate all thinking so the mind would be silent and thus at peace. I have since learned deeply through my experiences that this is not the only purpose of meditation.
Meditation is a tool for learning to master the mind by practicing focusing the mind and/or not engaging with the mind. Meditation is a method of teaching the mind to concentrate and incredible pain is an opportunity to cultivate this concentration.
In the early days after the fall when the pain was at its highest, I would intentionally focus my mind on feeling the sensations of pain and discomfort in the physical body, bringing my awareness to each area. I would imagine in my mind’s eye what that part of my body looked like on the inside and I would ask that part of the body what it needed to heal (using visualization as a tool). Then I would channel the healing energy of Reiki to that area of the body.
When the pain was at a very high level, I noticed how difficult it was for me to really sit with that pain and how much my mind and body were desperate for any relief making it feel impossible for me to let go (feeling desperate is not conducive to relaxing and letting go). I noticed how difficult it was for me initially to use my mind to relax the body with gentle encouragement.
When I was able to breathe deeply, I felt the glimmer of hope that I could finally get the body to let go. While I had many moments of weakness during this time on every level, I kept reminding myself that whether I wanted it or not, this was my current reality and anything other than surrendering to the present moment was madness (thank you, Eckhart Tolle).
3.The physical body needs to feel safe in order to deeply relax and let go and the connection between the body and mind is very real
I also learned during my recovery how vital it is that the physical body feels safe and supported so that it can deeply let go and that using the mind as a tool to support this is key.
When my physical body was hurting all over and in ways that I hadn’t yet experienced, I really struggled to find a way to help the body relax and let go. It was so difficult to find a comfortable physical position to be in and I had many moments of releasing the pain through my eyes in the form of tears.
On day 6 after the fall, my tolerance for pain and the situation in general was beginning to wear on my spirit; I was tired on every level and desperate for relief. I asked my husband to hold my leg in an effort to give my leg the literal feeling of safety and support but I was so afraid of the pain that I thwarted my own efforts to let go with intense thoughts of fear.
At that moment, my husband went and got out the massage table and helped me to get on the table. He put the bolster gently under my knees and started gently petting my arms. I felt the moment that my physical body finally let go and switched to my parasympathetic nervous system and the relief brought a flood of grateful tears.
My mind and body felt supported and safe in that moment and it was a true turning point in my recovery. I laid on the massage table for hours and drifted in and out of a deep and comforting sleep.
The mind-body connection is definitely real and when I could align my mental energy with my body the difference in my experience was palpable.
4.Mobility is important to me
I want to be able to move as freely and pain-free as possible for as long as possible. It’s as simple as that.
I have been blessed to have mobility in my life and this fall reminded me what a blessing it truly is and that it is up to me to continue focusing on my own wellbeing to keep myself mobile as I get older.
I feel more motivated than ever to do the best I can to take care of all of my bodies: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Everything is connected, intention is so critical, and balance is key.
Our life experiences are truly an important pathway to our evolution if we allow them space to be so. When I took that fall on the full moon, I was reminded how connected our minds and bodies truly are, how pain can actually help our meditation practice, that it’s actually freeing to fully accept help, and that I have a strong desire to be able to move pain-free for as long as I can. Perceiving this experience as an opportunity to learn and grow allowed me grace, humility, and compassion. Score one for Deanna (I guess we are now even, Hercules). 😉
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